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Found in some men’s room:
“No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.”
“Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.”
“Remember, it’s not, ‘How high are you!’ it’s ‘Hi, how are you!”
“wHAT ARE you looking Up on the wall for? The jOke is In YouR hanDs.”
More Tech acronyms: WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Maths MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
Tech acronyms: ISDN It Still Does Nothing SCSI System Can’t See It DOS Defective Operating System IBM I Blame Microsoft CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly WWW World Wide Wait
Katapos lang basbasan ng pari ang isang presong nakaupo sa silya-elektrika
PARI:”Mayroon ka bang nais na hilingin bago ka bawian ng buhay”
PRESO:”Opo”
PARI: “Ano yon,anak”
PRESO:”pwede po bang hawakan n’yo ang kamay ko?” (hehe!)
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Husband and wife…
Husband: On our 10th anniversary, dear, I’m so proud to be married to the same woman.
Wife: After 10 years with you, I am no longer the same woman.
Dok: magaling ka na pala kasi sinagip mo friend mo na nalulunod. kaya lang nagbigti sya sa CR!
Patient: di po dok. sinabit ko sya dun para matuyo 
PARE 1: pare what’s your biggest fantasy?
PARE 2: to be kissed by someone pare, ikaw?
PARE 1: to be….
that someone pare 
There is one way to find out if a politician is honest – ask him. If he says Yes, you know he is corrupt.
Pari-Mga anak wagkayong mag sex sa damuhan d naman kyo mga kabing. Wag kayo magsex sa tubig d naman kyo isa. Pari uli – Lalong wagnawag magsex sa likod simbhan d nman kyo pari!!